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“It’s my friend’s bridal shower tonight. I bought this piñata...


“It’s my friend’s bridal shower tonight. I bought this piñata and I’m going to fill it with fireworks, chocolate, differently textured condoms—some of which look terrifying, edible underwear, picnic items, shots, calming tea, rock candies, sparklers, and macaroons.”

"Liquor store opens in two minutes."


"Liquor store opens in two minutes."

“My son is 27 and still lives with his mother. He’s battled a...


“My son is 27 and still lives with his mother. He’s battled a bad drug problem, he’s very overweight, and he’s completely dependent on us for money.

"We just came from Model UN. We were representing Russia, but we...


"We just came from Model UN. We were representing Russia, but we didn’t win any awards." "What was your biggest accomplishment of the day?

“I knew I was spoiled growing up, and that we’d always had...


“I knew I was spoiled growing up, and that we’d always had money, but I just assumed that my dad made all his money from driving a bread truck.

Dave Isay, the founder of StoryCorps, recently won the TED...


Dave Isay, the founder of StoryCorps, recently won the TED Prize, and stated that his wish was for everyone in the world to record a meaningful interview with a loved one, acquaintance, or even a stranger.

“It’s a mind fuck. You go to audition after audition, and there...


“It’s a mind fuck. You go to audition after audition, and there are one thousand more ‘no’s’ than ‘yes’s.’  And you try to find that one little thing that you can change that will make all the difference.

“I had this feeling in acting school— that once we got out...


“I had this feeling in acting school— that once we got out of the contained environment of school, and into the real world, everything would work itself out.

"My statistics class is a real bitch.  If you mess up one step,...


"My statistics class is a real bitch.  If you mess up one step, the whole thing is wrong."

"I want to be a ballerina." “What’s the best part...


"I want to be a ballerina." “What’s the best part about being a ballerina?” “Dancing.” “What’s the hardest part about being a ballerina?

“My mom sent me to Maryland when I was a teenager to live with...


“My mom sent me to Maryland when I was a teenager to live with my father. A lot of kids were dying in our neighborhood, and she thought it would help turn my life around.

“I grew up in a village with 500 people in rural China. My...


“I grew up in a village with 500 people in rural China. My parents were rice and vegetable farmers. There wasn’t much education, but the people were very pure and uncomplicated.

"My grandparents aren’t religious at all. They told my...


"My grandparents aren’t religious at all. They told my mother: ‘You can bring home a white man, a black man, an asian man, or a hispanic man.

“I’m proud to say that my kids’ friends invite me to their...


“I’m proud to say that my kids’ friends invite me to their parties, because I never judge. I sat down my kids early and told them: ‘It’s OK to get stoned.

“I retired six months ago. I moved from five acres in Texas to a...


“I retired six months ago. I moved from five acres in Texas to a small apartment in Harlem, and I just love it.

“Every time I try to diet, I just miss the excitement of doing...


“Every time I try to diet, I just miss the excitement of doing something wrong. I’ve got a family now.

"I’m new to my job, I’m new to the city, and I just...


"I’m new to my job, I’m new to the city, and I just had my first big cry. It wasn’t about anything in particular.

“I feel like I’m on autopilot every day. I go to work, go home,...


“I feel like I’m on autopilot every day. I go to work, go home, listen to some music, smoke my blunt, and go to sleep.

"I’ve been in and out of the hospital for ten days,...


"I’ve been in and out of the hospital for ten days, because my newborn baby is in the ICU. It’s been a stressful week.

“My parents aren’t bad influences or anything, they’re just...


“My parents aren’t bad influences or anything, they’re just hardworking people. I’ve seen them cry for me too many times.


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