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UPS Loses Wedding Rings, Pretends They Were Held By Customs For 6 Weeks

(Zsolt Székely)A few weeks ago, reader Melissa got married. Congratulations, Melissa! Only she and her now-husband had to celebrate their marriage without the nerdy custom wedding rings that they had ordered from a jeweler in Canada.

Dollar General Extends Deadline For Family Dollar Offer, Hopes Shareholders Finally Give In To Advances

(Mark Clifton) The drama that is the dollar store wars doesn’t appear to be ending anytime soon, with Dollar General extending the life of its latest deal to buy Family Dollar out from under Dollar Tree.

Study: Broadband Still Slower, More Expensive In U.S. Than In Europe, Asia

(Tom Richardson) American consumers have gotten a mixed bag of broadband news this year. Between mergers and net neutrality it’s been a rough twelve months, even while some consumers have seen better connections and dropping prices.

Bag Of Cash Falls Out Of Armored Truck, Scatters Across Highway

(FastFords)Some commuters this morning in Maryland encountered some unexpected excitement when they saw a huge amount of cash blowing across the highway.

This Target Call Of Duty Promo Is Either Not Bad Or Chintziest Thing Ever

(Reddit)The new Call of Duty game comes out next week, and various retailers are doing what they can to lure in buyers.

New Crash Test Dummies Will Gain A Few Pounds To Better Reflect Fatalities Of Obese Drivers

Humanetics announced this week that it will begin making an obese crash test dummy.We’ve all seen the crash test dummies used in tests to determine if vehicles are safes before hitting the streets.

NY Pols Want Free Broadband For Public Housing, WiFi For Parks If Comcast Deal Approved

(Vivienne Gucwa)Usually by this point in the review process of a mega-merger like the one pending between Comcast and Time Warner Cable, there are discussions about things the parties are willing to do or give up in order to make the deal more palatable to critics.

Petition Demands Big Banks Give Consumers Back Our Right To Sue

(Colin)Since 2011, when the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed that it was perfectly okay for companies to take away a consumer’s right to sue — and their ability to join other wronged consumers in a class action — by inserting a paragraph or two of text deep in lengthy, unchangeable contracts, the rush has been on for almost every major retailer, wireless provider, cable company, and financial institution to slap these mandatory binding arbitration clauses into their customer agreements.

Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

A few years ago, we shared the story of a bold shoplifter who thought that nobody would notice if he stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to make a break for it.

28,980 Pounds Of Chicken Kiev Recalled For Connection With Salmonella Illness

Sometimes you want Chicken Kiev but don’t feel like pounding out the chicken breasts, stuffing them with butter and herbs, and then cooking them.

UPS Driver Kicks Fragile Package, Is Caught On Camera

We at Consumerist have wondered for years now why courier service drivers haven’t yet figured out that business and residential customers alike have security cameras.

UPS Driver Kicks Fragile Package, Is Caught On Camera

We at Consumerist have wondered for years now why courier service drivers haven’t yet figured out that business and residential customers alike have security cameras.

Disney’s Search Engine Patent Lumps Movie Piracy In With Child Porn

(Mrs. Gemstone)The folks at Disney have patented a search engine that ranks and filters out results based on “authenticity” metrics, allowing it to exclude “undesirable” results, which it describes only as “results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the like,” lumping in people trying to watch Finding Nemo for free with dangerous sexual predators.

Ferrari To Pay $3.5M Penalty For Failure To Submit Fatality Reports To NHTSA For Three Years

(Ian) As we’ve reported previously, car manufacturers are required to report death and injury claims to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration so that the agency can identify potentially fatal and dangerous defects.

Review Of Dunkin’ Donuts Not-A-Cronut: It’s The Lookalike Pet Parents Buy When Real One Dies

Earlier this week, Dunkin’ Donuts announced that it was jumping on the call-it-anything-but-a-Cronut craze by offering its own croissant/donut hybrid.

Does Using Someone Else’s Costco Card To Steal From Store Count As Burglary?

(Groovnick)When you leave a store without having paid for something, you’ve likely committed the crime of theft, but if you use someone else’s card to get into a warehouse club like Costco or Sam’s Club and then walk out of the store without paying for items in your bag, have you also committed the crime of burglary?

Developmentally Disabled Man Falls Over Mall Railing, Dies

(Kerry Lannert)Police say that what happened yesterday at the Palisades Center mall in upstate New York was a terrible accident.

Deer Goes On Rampage Breaking Windows At Subway, Visiting Auto Repair Center

(Marike79) A deer’s lack of opposable thumbs led him to take a different route while trying to obtain a foot-long from a Pennsylvania Subway: jumping through the window.

Nissan Recalls 1,848 Infiniti Vehicles Over Defective Takata Airbags

(John) The number of vehicles recalled related to defective Takata airbags increased by more than 1,000 vehicles Friday, as Nissan issued a recall of luxury Infiniti vehicles.

Walmart Shoplifter Threatens To Infect Employee With HIV

(Patrick)A wannabe shoplifter at a Dallas Walmart somehow thought it would be a good idea to threaten a store employee with HIV infection rather than get in trouble for trying to pilfer $11 worth of frozen food from the retailer.