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Newspaper Sorry for Suggesting That Undocumented Immigrants Are Going to Destroy White People's Thanksgiving

It's fitting that President Obama's decision to temporarily protect 5 million undocumented immigrants from deportation came just before Thanksgiving, which celebrates the generosity this country's original inhabitants showed to the undocumented immigrants who landed on their shores in 1620.

University of Virigina Suspends All Frats After Disturbing Sexual Assault Story

Days after Rolling Stone published an article about the "administrative cover-up and apathy" that followed the brutal 2012 gang rape of a female student at UVA's Phi Kappa Psi frat house, school president Teresa A.

Hit-and-Run Driver Made Sure to Grab McDonald's Before Fleeing Scene

Here's a terrible Friday night (or, more accurately, 4 a.m. on Saturday) story: A man is in critical condition after passing out outside of a Queens McDonald's and getting run over by a car whose driver fled.

Grand Jury's Decision on Darren Wilson Is Coming Soon, But Not Yet

As of Saturday afternoon, Ferguson (and must of the rest of the country) is still waiting to see if police officer Darren Wilson would face criminal charges in the shooting death of 18-year-old Mike Brown.

Republican-Led Committee Fails to Uncover Benghazi Conspiracy

The Republican-led House Intelligence Committee sold out the United States' proud Benghazi truthers on Friday, when it released the results of a two-year investigation into the 2012 attack on the American diplomatic compound in Libya.

President Obama Is One of Two Americans Still Using a BlackBerry

The president confirmed that he still owns one of the all-but-forgotten smartphones on Friday, when he informed reporters watching him board Marine One that he had almost left his behind in the White House.

Thieves in Guinea Probably Didn’t Mean to Steal a Bag Full of Ebola Blood

"No doubt they thought it was something else," said the Red Cross's Youssouf Traoré of the three men who stole a bunch of blood samples taken from suspected Ebola patients.

So, There Might Be a Rat Infestation at Vogue

Vogue's downtown migration to One World Trade Center was documented with military precision on Instagram.

Austrian Teachers Receive Training on How to Spot Aspiring Jihadis

Educators are being put on high alert in order to try and prevent more Austrian teens from joining jihadi fighters in Iraq and Syria.

Panda Playtime and 6 Other Truly Good Things That Happened This Week

I think we can all agree that the best thing about this week is that it eventually has to end. In case that doesn't inspire you to reclaim the positive attitude you abandoned way back in college, this might help: Here are seven truly good things that happened this week.

NYPD Officer Breaks Fare-Beater’s Face With a Nightstick

It's time to flip the "Days Since the Release of Disturbing NYPD Footage" sign back to zero. (It had been at around 30, for those keeping track.) In a video posted to YouTube on Thursday, a New York City police officer can be seen using his nightstick to beat Donovan ...

Accidental NYPD Shooting Death Tests de Blasio

It’s a chronically dangerous combination in the city’s housing projects: malfunctioning elevators and dimly lit stairways.

News Crew Accidentally Captures Drug Deal on Live TV

Two doofuses in Worcester, Massachusetts, thought they were being super slick by staging their drug deal outside in broad daylight.

Western New Yorkers Buried by Snow Now Also Have to Worry About Flooding

The massive lake-effect snowstorm that hit western New York this week is finally letting up, but residents of the area now have another thing to worry about: flooding.

House Republicans Finally Sue Obama Over Obamacare

After threatening to do so for months, House Republicans have finally sued the Obama administration over the president's "king-like" changes to Obamacare, the New York Times reports.

This Photo Will Make You Never Want to Use a Hand Dryer Again

Science of Us has been pretty on top of the paper towels vs. hand dryers debate, but some new evidence has just emerged, and it demands our attention.

Darren Wilson Reportedly in Talks to Resign From Ferguson Police Department

Darren Wilson, the police officer who shot and killed unarmed teenager Michael Brown, is reportedly in talks to resign from the Ferguson police department, according to CNN.

Gambia Will Lock Gays Up and Throw Away the Key

Gambia has joined a small fraternity of countries doling out life sentences for homosexual activity, as president Yahya Jammeh has signed a bill passed by the legislature in September.

Republicans Hand Obama an Immigration Political Triumph

Immediately after the election, when John Boehner asked Obama to hold off on unilateral action, reporters asked if he would promise to bring an immigration bill to the House floor.

Staten Island Wild Turkeys Get Early Pardon

A flock of wild turkeys has officially had its execution called off after plans to transport 100 of them to a farm upstate have been confirmed.