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Tasteless Ethnic and Gender Humor


During this photo, I was hoping Victoria was grabbing my butt not Harold.The mind is the most attractive part of an elegant woman, but damn sure not the only part.

Robin Williams Stamps His Own Passport


Robin Williams starred in what is likely the most life-affirming movie ever made, Dead Poet's Society, but he ended his own life this week, echoing the despair of a suicidal actor he wept for in that film.

The Best Person I've Ever Known


The greatest person I've ever known, Maribel Diaz, died this week. Her traditional Mexican funeral was a tutorial on what matters in life.

Road Babe Mittie Roger Fills Out


Not only will I be reading my work this Friday at the Garrison & Garrison Books anniversary party, but Mittie Roger (who pioneered the Road Babe Dispatches column in this magazine) truly fills out the program with a reading from her new book.

Join The San Miguel Bookstore Fiesta


This is a bimbo-friendly bookstore with millions of shorter words.In a selfless humanitarian effort to combat illiteracy, I'll be reading from my canonical works at the anniversary celebration of Garrison & Garrison bookstore in San Miguel on August 1st.

The New World Children's Crusade


With our typical condescension, we moderns ponder how barbaric medievals sent hordes of children to struggle and die in the crusade for a foothold on the promised land.

How to Find Breathtaking Orgasmic Romance


The most shockingly romantic moment I can remember took place on the shore of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala.

Twisted Vagabondage Tale From Vancouver Island


As a paying contributor to The United Negroe College Fund, for sage reasons of philanthropy as well as tax evasion, I was a little surprised to find absolutely no black people in the maritime city of Vancouver Canada—only Commonwealthy Europeans and Asians plus a few Native Canadian Kwakwaka’wakw Redskins. Still, Vancouver is indeed an international city on par with other slightly vanilla claimants like Portland or Seattle, with many fabulous bistros to recommend it, including some proudly locavore and part of the so-called Slow Food movement.

A Successful Author's Day


Ernest Hemingway looked at the world with feeling but without sentimentality.When I do public readings or presentations, people often ask, "How does a professional writer spend a typical day?

Attack of the Amazon Bully


Bullies often become crybabies. Such is the case with the traditional publishing syndicates now bawling about being pushed around by an Amazon that has taken up residence on their former turf.

Attack of the Amazon Bully


Bullies often become crybabies. Such is the case with the traditional publishing syndicates now bawling about being pushed around by an Amazon that has taken up residence on their former turf.

Nebraska: An Epic and Ludicrous Journey


What does an old man do when his life offers substantial evidence he might be a loser and the clock is running out on his mental lucidity?

Nebraska: An Epic and Ludicrous Journey


What does an old man do when his life offers substantial evidence he might be a loser and the clock is running out on his mental lucidity?

Smooth Getaway Postcard From Manilla


Over the past three decades, economic and political misfortunes coupled with natural calamities have kept the Philippines from taking a well-deserved place among the world’s most popular destinations.

Smooth Getaway Postcard From Manilla


Over the past three decades, economic and political misfortunes coupled with natural calamities have kept the Philippines from taking a well-deserved place among the world’s most popular destinations.

Trekking the Birthplace of Food


Just got back from a cave where the world's oldest corn fossils were found. I'm researching my next book entitled Chocolate, Vanilla, Tortillas & Salsa: Trekking the Birthplace of Food. This work will transport readers around Mexico and over the story of American cuisine.

Trekking the Birthplace of Food


Just got back from a cave where the world's oldest corn fossils were found. I'm researching my next book entitled Chocolate, Vanilla, Tortillas & Salsa: Trekking the Birthplace of Food. This work will transport readers around Mexico and over the story of American cuisine.

Twisted Vagabondage Tale From Bohemia


On my first visit to communist Czechoslovakia in 1989 (right before the Velvet Revolution), I drove down in my rented Skoda to the legendary Bohemian locus of Cesky Krumlov, the most picturesque village in the country.

Wandering Mystic Meditation From Seattle Washington


His gravesite now bears reverential, thoughtful and loving tokens from a world unconsidered when the great chief lived.

Primal Wilderness Rambling From Walla Walla


Nearly 50 miles stood between me and my final destination after landing in the sleepy Pasco Washington airport.


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