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Most Popular Old Person Names

Hector Plimmer, "Sleep Easy"

It’s the last hours of summer and the first day of fall. Feel any different? Of course not: Everything’s terrible year-round now.

New York City, September 20, 2017

★★ The warmth came on faster even than the brightness. Loitering clouds and a breeze set the change back only briefly, and midday belonged to the sun.

Oktoberfest Isn't Really A Thing

Photo: Bayreuth2009/Wikimedia Commons Germans head to the polls in TWO DAYS, you guys, which means the Fatherland’s quadrennial “vote fight” is finally, mercifully drawing to a close.

We'll Have The Fried Rice

Image: I grew up in Paterson, NJ via Facebook I grew up kosher till my father died. Religious I wouldn’t call him.

NFL Haiku Picks, Week Three

9/21 8:25 ET LA Rams -2.5 At San Francisco Thursday Night Football! Watch bad teams that suck! Or ‘T.

A Poem by Meghan O'Rourke

Poem for My Son You were of the earth, like a lentil. The taste of quince, a revulsion at meat. The others were like a dream that scores the body long after waking— But you were sour spit, a pinched pain in the right hip.

"Piss Play Is So Mainstream Now"

While the internet facilitates the demand, success, and ultimate proliferation of sex parties (the vast majority of the invites are sent through Facebook or private email lists), cruising IRL is seen by some sex-party attendees as a direct alternative to the annoyances of geolocation hook-up apps like Grindr, which can suck up hours of your time without ever providing a fuck.

Coupler, "INVENTION 2: Pattern Recognition"

When nothing makes sense suddenly everything seems to make even more sense. Enjoy.

New York City, September 19, 2017

★★ The humid breeze was a huge improvement over the humid and crowded elevator, but it didn’t offer much to appreciate on its own merits.

Some Études

Image: Piano Piano! via Flickr Crazy when you think about it that “Brevity is the soul of wit,” is a phrase I hear all the time and hate very much, is from Hamlet, which takes a long time to watch (or read).

Watching 'The Blues Brothers' In Wrigleyville

“I got an A on my English paper!” the world’s biggest Blues Brothers fan exclaimed. Bruce Pelletier, a local TV producer, leaned forward in his picnic chair.

Things I Let Go Of

Let's Talk About 'The Art of Fielding' Lawsuit

If you remember the year 2011 when The Big Book of the Year was The Art of Fielding and you don’t want to die after reading that clause, take a moment to read over the allegations of one Charles Green against the one Chad Harbach in the matter of wrongfully appropriating elements of the former’s manuscript, Bucky’s 9th, and interpolating them into the latter’s long-languishing first novel (which then sold for $665,000 and debuted to All The Acclaim): Whether or not you liked the book. is basically irrelevant to this conversation, because the thing about The Art of Fielding is that, for some reason, all these years later, it continues to be A Case Study in Book Publishing.

Cut Copy, "Black Rainbows"

Because every day is an excruciating accumulation of moments that last lifetimes now it is even more impossible to recall recent events than it used to be back when time flowed at a normal pace and the greatest difficulty we had was with the massive amount of product by which we were constantly under barrage.

New York City, September 18, 2017

★★ A few nearly unnoticeable drops of drizzle became a soaking mist in the course of the brief wait in the schoolyard for the teachers to arrive.

Dicks Drawn

One joke in particular highlights the strength and weakness of this mockumentary. To check one witness’s reliability, Peter and Sam must establish whether or not this witness got a handjob at summer camp.

"Ancient Aliens" Is Everything That's Wrong With America

I don’t know if you knew, but the Hebrews didn’t spend forty years in the Sinai after the Exodus because they’d incurred the wrath of God.

Cars Bad

Image: Bernard Spragg via Flickr As a technology, the motor vehicle is bad at preserving human life. According to the World Health Organization, the hurtling metal machines that provide our basic transportational freedom kill about a million people every year.

Overheard in D.C.

Finally, after more than 45 minutes of my eavesdropping on their conversation by myself, Mr. Cobb picked up the check and announced to Mr.